Whenever I am by myself, it seems like the whole universe conspires to freak me the heck out.
My Dad is away for a few days and I didn't have the heart to take the household help's weekend off by making them stay with me so I told myself to suck it up and let them go. I did cave last night and slept at my friend's house but tonight was going to be THE night.

This afternoon I was flicking through channels and they all seemed to be showing horror films this evening. One tv show I began to watch featured a bunch of lawyers dealing with a murder and rape case (oh great). Tired of browsing and shitting bricks, I started reading (The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat), engrossed, I started to imagine things (thank you brain) and freaked myself out. To be on the safe side, I tuned to my favorite channel, Nat Geo. For a moment I was relieved "aah, air crash investigations" and then, out of nowhere, they had to include that flight attendants would see apparitions, ghosts of those who died from the crash buwisit naman.

Then
I
heard
a
noise.

In the beginning I ignored it, thinking that perhaps I am just oversensitive right now. Then I heard the frickin DOOR! The frickin door to the dirty kitchen!! Like an idiot, I brought my book with me instead of a potential weapon, in my dressing gown and messy bun (perhaps hoping my appearance would be enough to scare them off?) and then it was a familiar sight, the light, the help's bedroom light and I just calmed down when J (our gardener) said Hi She! Welcome home!

I love our help. Even if you don't ask, they're always there. I guess I won't be home alone afterall.

The past two trips back home have been breezy sleep-wise. I developed this habit which after having a long, heavy welcome home lunch with my Dad (my flight arrives in the morning) I bid him adieu and proceed to my massive bed (in comparison to dorm bed). I was looking forward to my new schedule because I have always struggled with jetlag and my routine seemed to be working. Anyhoo, I had to meet my friends on the day I arrived so I napped for a few hours after long, heavy welcome home lunch and head to my friend's place, throwing my sweet little routine away (but it's all worth it, long story). Since then, my circadian rhythm has crossed continents, sometimes I sleep as if I were in the US, sometimes I am in Australia, but most times I don't know where my body clock is.

I don't even want to know what time it is but I am sure it's stupid o' clock and I am getting desperate. I don't even count sheep anymore, I just start chatting up my little cuddle buddy Charlie the cow (I can't find a photo of him right now) but he is this massive ball of a happy cow, he is sooo lovely to hug.. why the hell am I talking about Charlie. PLEASE PLEASE SECRETE EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF MELATONIN into my system NOW! I don't want Charlie to start talking back!!

So I thought of a movie and sleepless in Seattle immediately came into mind. I think I will just imagine myself in the movie minus the child, minus Meg Ryan, minus everything. It's me in my bed showing Eric Bana or Eric's Banana (ay!) a good time and then afterwards he plays with my hair and tells me that contrary to what I think, my short fringe (I hate you bakla) is irresistable, in fact, everything about me is irresistable, and begin to ask me questions like how come I am not a super duper mowdel and such, of course I am susceptible to bola and we do the nasty again.

I think at this point I am just talking to myself therefore I should end this post now, hurrah for sleep deprivation. I hope I get out of this funk soon otherwise I am going to introduce myself to sleeping pills -- yes, I am that desperate!

Useless entry ends here.
Dreams of Eric starts here.

Since exams finished..






Back to exams, I passed all eleven exams at first attempt with high enough grades to apply for Masters. O di ba! Bongggaa!!

One thing I still have not fully grasped yet is the concept of chips: American vs British interpretation
My flatmates were yelling Sherrryyy ShEeeRRrryyy from outside my window and of course I look out and they asked if I wanted some chips. So I said okay, yes sure because i'm a big, fat pig like that and i'm not full enough to vomit with the big bowl of chicken mami + two eggs that I just had (no time to cook, yes yes, very bad) and I thought it was quiet weird that they didn't ask me which flavour I wanted: I go Doritos Nacho Cheese (latest like) and then coke. So they come back with a steaming box of chips (french fries) and I was surprised.

REMEMBER: CRIPS = CHIPS, CHIPS = FRIES (In UK).

I guess I will never learn *sigh*

Ok, back to revision!

It's probably the fact that I have ten more exams to go that I am feeling this way.
After my exam today, I was actually quiet delirious. I was hyper and just moving around everywhere. I guess it hit me that after this three-week hell, it will be summer again. Straight after the exam, I went straight to the library where Davide managed to save me a seat and wrote how many pages of notes on dyslexia, which I still do not understand.

Davide finishes before I do as this is his final year and I just thought of how much I am going to miss him. I always look forward to our day long dates of sitting in the library together. We meet at the pathway at quarter past eight and we rough it in the library until six, seven.. and I enjoy our little coffee breaks (yes, I have started drinking coffee again). I always look forward to these dates because he's right next to me and I can just hug him when I want, okay fine, I check if he's totally immersed, but yeah, it feels nice.

I guess what makes me so lonely despite the fact that I am in a relationship is that I only see him for a couple of hours a day most of the time. I know that for some couples who live far from each other, it's definitely better than nothing. I know how you feel, I do long distance half the year as well but Davide and I live less than three minutes away from each other. Usually we meet for dinner - I cook, we eat, cuddle for a few minutes, then byebye. I am just so tired and so lonely by the end of the night.

He leaves for home the day I finish my last exam -- fantastic. I know I am going to Italy to spend some time with him but is that it?

We have been together for two and a half years, two of those years in which we were in the country we practically lived together and then the past few months, we got into this dinner routine. What follows next, I wonder.

Nothing, I have no time to bake my heart out so dito na lang. What a sad post -- probably didn't even make any sense. Whatever. MY BLOG. As soon as this three-week hell is done. I shall be posting embarrassing drunk photos and posting shameful stories. Abangan :o)

I am kind of bothered that I am not stressed about all eleven of my exams.
I am not even 100% certain on any of them, just touching the surface.
I just cannot wait for the 23rd.
Good vibes, please. I don't want to fly to Europe to do a re-sit. I want to stay at home and be useless! :o)

One thing I learned about myself as my university years fly by is that I tend to bake or cook up something elaborate when I am feeling a bit lonely (When I say elaborate, I mean in comparison to other university students). So far, 50% of the meals prepared have been successful but i'm learning.

I haven't posted about food in a while so here goes: a food post with some stories :o)




When I was younger, around 6 or so, I used to stay with my Japanese uncle + aunt + two cute babies in their house for the summer. Uncle Naga used to get a kick out of making me try all these Japanese foods. He especially enjoyed himself when I was disgusted or surprised. Up to this day, I still don't like the consistency of nato.

I remember my aunt used to cook all these foods for him and I never quiet understood why he didn't want his fish to be cooked. Instead he dipped that chunk of fish in toyo with this tearjerker of a green-colored paste -- yeah, he made me sniff it!  I was his favorite, I suppose :o)

But what I remember the most is the curry. I saw this packet in the shop a couple of weeks ago and tried it out.

I am in the library using davide's itouch with the university's wifi. I feel so cool. Back to work. So slow at this LOL

this guy downstairs has the freakiest laugh. I almost cried due to fright. My goodness.

I have been watching this Viking ship called the Sea Stallion leave for Dublin from the Danish port of Roskilde. A crew of 65 volunteers, men and women, were to sail in a long replica believed to be the world's largest reconstructed Viking vessel. They were to travel 1,900 km using only oar and sail power (oh my goodness) The crew must have had it rough because they had to sleep on the open deck, no privacy, no toilets, just like the Vikings. The journey is to recreate the voyages of early Norsemen but I think it's so that we would stop complaining when our flights are delayed because we could be out in the open sea with our scrawny arms rowing like hell with heavy winds and rain bitch-slapping us the whole time.

The Sea Stallion has finally arrived despite hostile weather and unfavorable living conditions after six incredibly long weeks on the ship.

Congratulations to the crew and everybody involved in this project!

For more: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6947453.stm

I came back from the North (of England) with Davide yesterday. Right now he is on the plane to Milano and in an hour, I will be making my way to the North again but this time in a different country.

I will be here...

HELLO 2007!

Will post resolutions very soon

Must get sober firsr hehen!